I have been busy with my Mom lately...she has had some issues with her ankle, they think she may have a stress fracture and we are waiting for results from a bone scan. Recently she has had double vision ( not that her regular vision is very good with macular degeneration ). We went to her eye specialist yesterday and he thinks she had a stroke in her eye (not the same as a regular stroke ) in her third cranial nerve in the eye. It should repair itself but it could take three months. So she is hobbling around with an air cast and is dizzy and seeing double, poor Mom. This has been hard for me...adjusting to health issues for mom....knowing that she is 80 and deteriorating health wise. It is always something I have thought about but really didn't want to face or expect to face so soon. But really is it "so soon", she is 80. Not that she is on her death bed....but little things I notice...as she becomes more and more dependent on me for things ( which I gladly do, I am very close to my mom) , however it is sad...her regressing into a child almost...the woman that I looked to for help or advice ...who made me poached eggs on toast and sat by my bed side and patted my arm till I fell asleep (up until I was 14)...who I called everyday when she lived in Florida and she raised 5 children on her own. She was the strong one and now I feel as if she is a child and the tables are turned and I have lost that strong mother in a sense. I do a lot for her and take her out everyday and yet I feel as if I am not doing enough....it is hard to divide the time between my three boys, Tom , work, house work and this adoption process. Sometimes I wonder if God planted the adoption seed in my head to help me when Mom is not here anymore. Not that the boys don't keep me busy but the demands of a baby or toddler require more of your attention and time. As I said, I am hoping Mom gets"better" and by no means do I think she is leaving me anytime soon...but these are just some worries I have had on my mind and thought I would write about them.
As far as our adoption is concerned, no news on travel. But recently have thought about this whole process and am amazed at how far we have come. I am remembering all of the paperwork...the trips to Frankfort...reading and rechecking the paperwork and still screwing things up. I remember thinking that this process will never end or that I would never get my I171H in the mail.....that we would never get our referral ...and here we are 7 wks ago we got our referral. The first two weeks after the referral went fast because you are so excited and showing everyone the picture.....then it drags.....more waiting. Hoping to get an updated picture but it does not come, wishing for a speedy travel date every time the phone rings...checking your email 20 times a day. It is a wonder that I get the stuff done around the house that I do. Of course in the midst of all of this you have people asking you constantly about the adoption. "When are you going...did you hear anything new...why can't you just adopt an American baby...how much does it cost to adopt." You know people are interested but sometimes you just don't want to talk about it.... The best or maybe worst I have heard is...."Well at least it is easier than having your OWN baby" Well first of all she is My Own baby...I already love her as much as my boys and I only have seen her in a picture. Second of all I had three babies and it was much easier than this whole process..the waiting , the unknown, the endless and mostly ridiculous mounds of paper work, the home study and the financial burden. I only had $20.00 copay to have my boys...And I didn't have to prove that my septic system is working properly or send a picture of every room in my house , or collect three years tax returns etc. etc. etc. There is nothing easy about adoption and or parenting for that matter. I know that going through this has taught me a little about patience (or taught me that I have none). I also have learned that things will happen the way they are supposed to and that things are never as bad as they seem. I am very blessed that I have a healthy family and more than I ever deserved ..a great husband and children. There are so many people out there who are dealing with so many bigger problems and issues in their lives....that it puts our lives into perspective. So I wait patiently (as patiently as I can) and trust that God will help us get through this journey when the time comes. We have come a long way, baby and soon we will be bringing you home.